Aside from clothing myself each day, I wasn't prepared for the personal challenges. I found I rely on retail therapy for many negative emotions. I go shopping when I'm bored, lonely, feeling blue, self-conscious, or not quite up to par with the "rest of the world". Clothes shopping has a strong hold on me. I didn't have a clue just how powerful it was.
There are many positives produced by this challenge. The experiment increased my resolve. Heck, I made it through Marshall's without buying a thing for myself. Our weekend trips to Target stopped. I unsubscribed to all the department store emails flooding my inbox. I became more creative in my closet. I put more effort into my appearance. I became more thoughtful in my outfit selection. I reflected on why I really wanted to go to Target instead of stay home. Most importantly, I discovered I like my cozy little box I live in. I'm not referring to my home either. I mean my comfort zone. The place, person, or persona I put off to the world. I have learned to be comfortable there. Safe. But I am not content.
'30 in 30' was my wake up call. Clothes are intended to reflect who you are. Not who you want people to think you are. I'm getting a little Stacy and Clinton here, huh? Isn't that why we pin the animal prints and sequins and fifty other things, but never wear them? Because we are afraid of what people might think? Part of me believes it's true.
In the month of February I am committing myself to exiting my comfort zone. I am pushing myself to be uncomfortably honest. I am going to do what makes me wiggle and cast my eyes downward hoping to avoid the reactions of others. If I feel like doing it, then I am going to do it. I am going to wear heels for no reason. I am going to invite my neighbor in for coffee when my sink is filled with dishes. I am going to apply for jobs I don't think I will get. And I'm going to push 'Publish' in Blogger with my eyes closed every single day. I am going to get real.
I want to know what happens when I stop worrying about what everyone thinks.