Gratitude Journal

My friend, Katie, from Going Coastal is hosting a month of thanksgiving linkup. I thought participating in the linkup would be a great time to bring back Sunday Gratitude Journal. I can look back on my week of phone pics and reflect on the good. As I mentioned a few short days ago, I really want to make sure I don't get caught up with the whole Christmas countdown. I want to savor November!

Most of my week is all about work and kids. I don't get too much down time Monday through Thursday. After my kiddos go to bed, I either clean or clean then have my computer time. The weekends are my time to slow life way down and really concentrate on individual time with everyone (husband and kids). Lately, the weekends have been just as busy. We have one more busy weekend to knock out then we should be ready for a slow one again. I'm thankful for that!

Speaking of those moments of quality time with the kids. I had one of those moments with Zac. We put our brains together and built this shelf. I am totally inept at building anything. Me and a 10 year old are equal partners. Yes, we had to build it up and take it apart several times but we finished. I love these moments. So thankful for my kids. For the age they are now. For helpers.

Halloween night. I'm not a big fan of Halloween. Not really sure why. The kids love it. I like to see the kids have fun. I am thankful we had a safe, fun, and relatively mellow Trick or Treat night.

Thankful to be able to participate in the local Karl Strauss training event.

Which meant dinner out- mid week- for free.

I do not balance working and meal planning very well.

I am always thankful for a break from cooking Monday through Friday. 

I'm thankful for my job.
Which allows me time to visit our other sites to train and get ideas for my own site.

 And be the recipient of many new items delivered weekly!

This weekend a group of military spouse blogger got together in Temecula.
Not sure if you remember our last blogger date here.
Truly an amazing bunch of ladies. Everyone is so friendly and good natured.
We really enjoy ourselves.
In fact, Katie (the host of the linkup) is part of the group.
I'm thankful to have this unique support system with other military spouse bloggers.
(FYI...the group is open to all milspouse bloggers in the area)

It was such a great week. Busy. Stressful at times. Yet I look back with only positive thoughts!
I feel blessed every day to be alive and healthy and enjoying my life.

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I Know That Was You

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Do you ever have these moments? I've had quite a few the past two weeks.
My latest was yesterday when the realtor called.
The appraisal came back. And get this...the house appraised for more than the listing price.
Remember how I said that never happens with VA loan? 
Honestly, my neighbor was here on Monday and their VA home appraisal came in almost $20000 under asking price. Which had us even more worried ours would come back low.

Thankfully, it wasn't our story and when the realtor said 'more than the asking price' 
I just looked up and smiled. 
What a cool cool God!

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Gratitude Journal

Enjoy your day. 

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Gratitude Journal

Wow, this week has been about as mundane as they come. Not a lot happening. Yet, I feel a great deal of gratitude over the little things this week.

My husband had his chemo treatment on Monday. Seems like a long time ago. He has been doing amazing. He has been very tired. A little achy. No appetite. But really no major side effects like debilitating nausea, fever, or infection. Things I worried about. My husband is a champ. We had a lot of people praying for him so I know who to thank for this one!

I'm thankful for the down time this week. I've been hanging out with the kids mostly. Trying to stay close to help out the hubby. The boys and I had a Lego night in Derrick's room.  I kind of dig those moments. Scores me major cool points with the boys too.

We had two hot days this week. A reminder summer is around the corner. Not sure how I feel about it. I like my 70 and sunny days. But the occasional 90 degree days are the perfect excuse to forget everything and go to the pool. That is how our Friday went.

Our neighbors really stepped up the game this week. They brought dinners every night. *sigh* I can't really put it into words how much it helped. I'm going to give a shout out to my friend Jessica who arranged the whole thing. You have a good heart. Thank you for sharing it!

Weekend of Service 2013

Just a quick post to share with you all. We've been so busy volunteering this weekend with our church for Weekend of Service. The church shut down for the whole weekend and went out into our community to serve. OMG...we are not talking plating up some pizza at Sunday Night Dinners here. My husband and I agree, we can not remember the last time we worked so hard. I spent five hours planting flowers in soil made up of rock and clay. Boy, how I miss the brown moist dirt in Iowa. Life could have been so much easier. It's so ironic to me that I was given the job of planting flowers. I do not have a green thumb. I kill marigolds and can't get succulents to grow. I wouldn't be surprised if my flowers don't make it. Just saying!

I'm posting some pictures taken yesterday at our site. Oh, I should tell you about our site. We worked at a low income middle school. Low income schools are a dime a dozen in Southern California. It's true. It's sad simple repairs go unfixed because of financial constraints. A great example is a clogged drain on the school campus which floods the grounds when it rains. The work order was submitted two years ago and it still remains clogged. So sad!

Our boys before volunteering. Zac wasn't too excited to go. 
Remember he is our lazy one.

In his own words, he surprisingly had fun and made a couple of friends. Yes, he slipped off to the mulch pile a time of two to get unbelievably dirty and he started digging a hole in pursuit of gold. Overall, it was a great experience for him and everyone.

Ky went into superstar mode yesterday. As she always does. 

Seriously the girl impresses me. 

Everyone really. 

This picture was end-of-the-day-I-need-a-shower-and-food kind of smile. 

So...we went to our favorite diner, The Pit Stop and got some grub.

Topped it off with milkshakes. Just to sooth our sore muscles.

Holistic Healing.

We got home. Did the shower and laundry thing. 

Watched Rise of the Guardians.

Went to sleep.

Now were just bumming around in our pjs until our shift today.

Of course, it's not Sunday on the blog without a gratitude post.

I'm thankful for everything you just read. 

Truly an amazing experience with the family.

I'm grateful for our church too.

It's a great fit for us. 

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Gratitude Journal

This weekend has been busy. I did not plan out my gratitude post. When this happens, as it sometimes does, I usually don't post. But I'm trying to keep on a schedule. And gratitude post is really about the daily, the moment. I'm keeping this simple.

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I'm thankful for our Saturday bike ride. We took the boys to the convenience store for ice cream pops. 

I love sharing simple pleasures with the kids.

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I'm thankful for sunny days. We've been taking full advantage. I'm seeing photos of my family back home in scarves with snow on the ground. That just ain't right. 

It's April. Almost May. There should not be snow...anywhere! 

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Today we went to a Mustang car show in Buena Park. It's something my husband wanted to do.

I'm not a big car fan. But I don't mind walking along with him. I took pictures. That keeps me busy. I know my husband enjoys the company. I'm grateful the car show was close enough for us to visit.

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I'm thankful for our family volunteer project. Serving Sunday Night Dinner at church. 

Always a good time.

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I am thankful for random interactions God plans in my life. 

He has this way of coming in from left field, completely blindsiding me, 

and leaving me absolutely amazed.

For example, tonight I sat on a bench eating my pizza with another volunteer.

She was telling me about how her family found our church and 

how far her husband had grown in his faith during that time.

She told me 'He has changed so much, he isn't even the same person'.

And I automatically replied, "That's exactly how I feel about myself".

It was a simple confession but so profound for me.

I'm a private person. I'm growing... but I still struggle with sharing myself with others.

Those simple words uttered were like a release.

There was no thought behind them. They were just spoken.

I am so thankful for a God who does not give up on me. Who has slowly changed me into this person I barely recognize.

{Gratitude Journal}

Friday morning brought on a hum drum feeling of melancholy.  Do you ever get that feeling? You aren't sad or mad but you aren't happy either. That feeling annoys me. I try my hardest to escape it. Mostly because I predictably fall into an irritated mood quickly after melancholy sets in. My husband and I decided to fit in a mini-date before the kids got out of school.  In two hours, we picked up a quick lunch and headed to the beach.  A surefire way to beat a mediocre mood.

We walked half way down the jetty before finding a perfect overlook. We sat facing the harbor with the noise of the waves behind us. In that moment, my inner dialogue started sputtering "thank you's". 

My husband is home. He is in amazing spirits. His treatment plan is worked out (dependent on one more CT scan). We have time without the kids. The sun. The breeze. The ocean.

The ocean has this calming effect on me. I can't help but feel God's presence there. The enormity makes it difficult to believe the ocean was created by chance. It covers 80% of the Earth's surface. It's deeper than any mountain is high. It's powerful enough to destroy. Yet it sustains life.  For me, the ocean is a glimpse of how amazing our God is. 

Gratitude When You Aren't Grateful

There is only one place I felt fitting for an update on my husband's diagnosis. My gratitude journal. Finding out about the cancer has challenged my feelings of thanksgiving about where we are right now.
One reason has been because of the challenges of deployment. Over the past six months I felt I was being blindsided left and right with stressors. A broken washing machine, a car accident, sick kids, an unexpected expense which took a big bite out of our savings, and an out of control blaze on the back patio to name several.  By February, I felt we met our quota on bad luck and it would be smooth sailing until my husband's return in May. I was confident.

For ten days after surgery, I held on to the hope of a clear pathology report. No cancer. I felt God would be merciful and graceful to let us be the 1 percent. When the doctor confirmed 100% seminoma, I honestly felt disappointed. Had we not been through enough?

How do I say 'Thank you God' when life isn't sunshine and butterflies? Isn't that everyone's question? When I put pen to paper every night in my gratitude journal, how can I avoid just going through a process? For me, gratitude journaling isn't about denying the bad things. It is about taking time to concentrate on the good things. Maybe my husband has cancer. Maybe I lay in the dark and desperately pray that everything is going to be ok. Even if we have to cross a bridge that is dark and scary, that in the end everything will be ok. We will grow from this experience. Someone will benefit. Good will come.

I contine to write my list of five thankfuls, even as we go through this medical diagnosis. Yes, I am not grateful for the constant appointments, the endless waiting, the diagnosis, the worry. But I see the good. 

I am thankful for the down time.
The moments we had to just be together with no other distraction.
Laying down our guard.
Gaining humility.
Drawing closer to God.

I won't begin to guess why this has happened to us. I only know and trust God's Word which says "...[I]n all things God works for the good of those who love him..." Romans 8:28.

Gratitude Journal

After all the Easter eggs are found 

and chocolate bunny ears devoured, 

One thing will remain true. 

This day is all about Jesus.

He died on the Cross.

He went to Heaven.

For me.

For you.

All we need is to accept that. To believe that.

I am grateful. So so very grateful for His gift.

My life is changed because I rediscovered this.

Thank You God.

Gratitude Journal

Blessings abound! It's Sunday and time to reflect on all the good things happening in life.

This week my youngest turned 8. He was so excited for his day as most children are. We had a small party at our house. I was worried it wouldn't be enough. Parties get kind of crazy around these parts. It's hard to top some of the themed or location parties we've attended. But Derrick was more than ok with his little "homemade" birthday. I'm thankful we had a day to celebrate him. And his friends from school were able to attend.

I'm thankful for our double date last night with good friends. We went to a great restaurant in Oceanside called Pacific 333. Amazing food and martini bar. Awesome location with a panoramic view of the ocean at sunset. And all this because we had a babysitter! Another thankful because those are hard to find.

I'm thankful to finally be reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. After Kelsey at Keeping Up With Kelsey suggested the book, I put it on my Reading List. I finally found the opportunity to read the book with a small group of friends. Which is ideal for me. Because I love to read and I love to talk about books. 

My quick list of gratitude from the week...

...first day of spring.
...flowers blooming everywhere!
...sunny days.
...my husband being home.
...my husband feeling better.
...my kids' school.
...friends.
...meeting friends for coffee.
...personal growth.
...this blog which I credit part of my personal growth to. 

Every time I write these posts my cup fills. Even on the bad days when I really don't want to write this post. It's a good thing.

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Gratitude Journal

This morning on our drive to church I had this overwhelming feeling of gratitude. I was looking around at my surroundings. Another beautiful Southern California morning in March: sun shining, flowers blooming, green everywhere. A couple misplaced Iowans can't help but recognize the blessing of Spring weather in March.

This week has been a challenge with the days leading up to Darin's surgery and the procedure itself. Between the two of us we were just keeping each other moving forward. Our family and friends have really stepped up and been a great support. We have the greatest friends...evah! And our family has been very caring and loving. Blessed!

I'm grateful for my Bible study gals. I have grown so much during this deployment. Their support and prayers have encouraged me.

Of course, I'm thankful for little things happening this week:

- a good book that grabbed my attention from page one
- grilled food (Thanks husband)
- a Saturday trip to Target without my crazy boys
- paying 27 cents for Sally Hanson nail color strips
- Ruzzle
- getting my Cara Box finished
- Pinterest projects
- finding Birthday Cake Oreos at our commissary
- eating Birthday Cake Oreos with milk


Things are good. I am thankful!

Gratitude Journal

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It has been an amazing weekend. We've had 80 degree temps this weekend. So blessed to be living in Southern California in winter. The kids and I enjoyed a low key weekend with lots of quality time. I feel like we really needed it. Friday night was our family fun night. We stayed up late watching three, yes three, movies. Saturday we took a 2 hour hike around the lake and stopped at the campground park to play. I plopped on a swing and enjoyed the cool breeze while the kids burned off their energy. Sunday after church, we went to lunch at a local cafe. Our lunch date means a break from cooking. Yay me! Sometimes I need a break from all the daily tasks of being the only parent here. I'm very thankful we can go and do those things. And super grateful to the waitstaff who keep the coffee cup filled and clean up the mess after. Lately, I'm thankful the days go by quickly. We are down to double digits on the Homecoming countdown and everytime the tens number changes I do a little dance. I can't wait to have our missing link home!  

Gratitude Journal

I feel like I'm coming back in full swing this week. All the craziness has subsided and things are getting back to normal. A big yay for normal, mellow, and stress-free! I vote for it staying this way...indefinitely.

I am so thankful for my video chat with my husband. We hadn't been able to video chat since October. Which is a long time (in general) but even longer when you are married. Sometimes I feel like he is in prison somewhere. No freedom to do what he wants. People making decisions for him. I'm sure he feels the same. But it's all in the name of freedom and I believe it's important. So we keep on keeping on.

I am thankful for the February Challenge. Not only blogging every day which has given me an opportunity to be more open with you. I have implemented the challenge in my daily life. I have pushed myself beyond my comfort zone. I've put myself out there with people and it has been really good for me. On Day 23, I feel more confident and happier.

I am thankful for my Skype date with my friend H. We filled our glasses with wine and had some girl talk. Despite two little boys over my shoulder showing off their food and toys, it was my adult time.

I'm grateful for all the babies in our Bible Study. Three babies join their mommas on Fridays. I just soak up all of those sweet smiles and baldy heads. I'm not interested in one of my own but I need my fix.

I'm thankful for a long hike around the lake. Instant mood booster! The weather was perfect Saturday morning.

I'm thankful for quality time with the kids.

I'm thankful for dog walks with a friend. As much as I love being drug around by Charlie on his walks and stopping to sniff every .single. leaf. I have a lot more patience when I'm chatting with a friend.

I'm thankful for...

energy to make dinner every night this week.
kids who keep me company.
help with the laundry.
cereal for dinner.
smart phone apps that help keep me organized.
emails from the husband.
sunny but cool days.
a dwindling countdown to homecoming.
LIFE.

What are you thankful for? Let me know in the comments what good things are happening in your life! 

Gratitude Journal

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Lately, I feel like I'm holding on to 'yesterday's junk'. Oh, Louise Smith would be so disappointed! Frankly, I should be disappointed. It's a terrible way to go about my daily business. Gratitude journaling is my way of letting go of negative things and filling myself up with the positive. I shouldn't be surprised my foul mood has stuck around for this long. In all honesty, I haven't been reflecting on the good things. I've been hanging on tight to the bad things happening.

We are dealing with deployment days around here. Oh, how I miss my husband. Lately, I am finding how quickly those feelings can create a lot of other negative emotions.  On Saturday nights I begin contemplating the Gratitude Journal post. The past two weeks I have wanted to skip it. I'd rather concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other. If I could just post 'I am happy one more day is over' OR 'I am thankful we are one day closer to homecoming', then I wouldn't feel like such a fraud.

Honestly, some days that IS what I am most grateful for.  Hmm...I feel like I shouldn't admit these things. For the sake of realness, I should. I want you to know sometimes life isn't butterflies and flowers. Not just for military spouses but for everyone. For you, the negative feelings may come from a never ending laundry pile, a paycheck that won't get you through until the next, illness, loneliness, or too many responsibilities. At the end of the day, why make time to be thankful for coffee and sunshine? Here is my short answer.

For every trial I endure, there is always something amazing happening simultaneously. It's a matter of choice to decide what to focus on.  We control our thoughts. Our thoughts control our mood. Sometimes, gratitude is a constant redirection of the mind. I am thankful for {blank}...oh thankful for {blank} Nicole?...pretty lame...why not just admit this {negative thing} sucks and wallow in it. You deserve it! It's worthy of your sadness, anger, etc. And there I am in my funk for one more day. Terrible cycle.

Today I am breaking the cycle. I'm counting these as my blessings...

I am thankful deployment is temporary. My husband will come home. The days are dwindling down but we still have some time. When I compare deployment with civilian life it seems unfair. When I compare my life with those who have lost their spouses, I feel like spoiled child.

I am grateful I am married to a good man worth missing. I miss so much about him because he is an active part of our family. He's sweet to me. He's a great dad. He comes home every day from work taking time to say 'hello' to every one of us before taking off his uniform and getting into his regular clothes. He's a master griller. He doesn't hesitate give me a hand with the housework. He takes the kids when I need a break. He goes along with any plan I concoct. Really, how can a girl not miss all that?

I am thankful for warm sunny days. East coast, don't hate, but we've been basking in 80 degree weather this weekend. Beautiful weather means lots of time outside.

...a trip to the library for some new reads.
...dinner at my favorite restaurant.
...a visit from the S family.
...chats with my sister.
...notes of encouragement (and a little gift) from my parents.
...mindless television from Netflix, namely Melissa & Joey.

And now my hand's are empty. Are yours?

Gratitude Journal

A random list of all the things making me smile throughout the week.

Today, I am thankful for....

...a nap.
...cloudy skies.
...crockpot dinners.
...a Google chat with the husband.
...kids who can help with household chores.
...a quiet house after kids are asleep.
...time for reading.
...a Pastor's sermon/message that felt like it was created for me.
...a God who knows exactly what I need.
...another week of deployment over.
...a short week of school for the kids.
...my husband's Mustang restored and in the garage. I no longer have to think or stress about the car.
...Zumba. It keeps me motivated to workout.
...hugs. I am a firm believer in "4 hugs for survival, 8 for maintenance, and 12 for growth".

Gratitude Journal

I am thankful for a busy weekend. I sit here and write this entry wondering where three days went. I hope the next few months go this fast.

Saturday morning was spent at church for the Amazing Race to Serve. As the name indicates, the race is a knock off of the reality show Amazing Race. Teams of two race around three adjoining towns to find clues. The goal is to reach the final destination first. Home base supports help search for answers to clues via internet. I was part of the support team for our small group's two teams. The kids and I hung out at the church campus waiting to cheer the teams across the finish line. A great morning.

I am so thankful deployment is over half way done. It's a reenergizing feeling to have the majority of the separation behind us. It's nice to say things like, "It's all down hill from here" and "We're almost to double digits (on the countdown)".

Saturday afternoon we dropped in at the Half Way (Deployment) Party hosted by my husband's work. The theme was 50s and bowling. I convinced the kids to dress in greaser attire, which really meant roll up your sleeves and put on your Converse. It's enough to not be complete stand outs yet festive.

                                                                                                                       Spending Saturday with new friends and acquaintances made my 'get real' challenge constant. It's so easy for me to put on my front with new people. However, I felt I was true to myself. My fail was allowing my kids to bowl. I normally allow them to participate in all activities available at family events. The half way party was different because the RSVP list was 320+ family units long. I estimated 900 would be in attendance. I wanted to pop in, say hello, grab a cupcake, and get our picture book.

We walk into the bowling alley, found a group of familiar faces, and the dessert table.

One child got excited and asked to bowl.
My reply, "You want to bowl? Ok!"
And I'm standing in line for three pairs of bowling shoes and requesting bumpers on lane 34.
Clearly, I've got work to do on this challenge.

Gratitude Journal

I love this picture. It's just a simple view of the sky from my backyard. It was an Instagram prompt for a photo-a-day challenge in December. I believe the hashtag was #TheSky. Not until later did I realize the ominous clouds hovering over the mountains. Within ten minutes the rain was pouring down and didn't stop for hours. Those rainy days are back, literally and figuratively.

I will be honest. Some days, especially lately, I don't feel very grateful. I want to dwell on the negative. And there are times I give myself 5 or 10 minutes to go down that road. But I always try to bring myself back. I wholeheartedly believe there is always a reason to give thanks, even if it's simply life. In the end, all the negative stuff is only circumstance. It doesn't have to control your mood, attitude, or life. As quickly as the bad happens, something more positive replaces it.

There is an urban legend in the military community. It says, "If something bad is going to happen, it will happen during deployment". Based on my current experience, I would believe the legend is true. I've had a car troubles, my clothes dryer stopped working, and yesterday I had a "minor" incident with the grill and an out of control grease fire. Last night, I felt defeated. This morning my stepmom called me bright and early to remind me it's my "gratitude day"! 

"Yeah, yeah". I responded. 

"What are you grateful for today?"

"I'm breathing". It was too early for real thinking.

The truth is I am thankful:

... the fire wasn't worse. I'm glad it didn't reach the propane tank. I'm so very grateful my neighbor was home. I'm glad he got it under control and put it out.  I'm thankful it had been raining and the grass was wet. It helped put out the fire from one of the grease pans. If it were dry, like most days, then the fire could have lit up the grass. I'm so thankful.

I am grateful my clothes dryer broke instead of my washer. I can hang things to dry but I cannot wash things by hand. Or should I say, I will not wash four people's laundry by hand! It's temporary until the repair man visits or we buy a new one. 

I am thankful for a great weekend with my kids. A cold rainy weekend kept us indoors. We watched movies, crafted, kids choreographed a Pitch Perfect routine (adorable!), went to the gym, and our favorite diner.

I am thankful for Google chats two nights in a row. The changes of connecting both days are slim. However, they did and my days are so much better

I am thankful for my son's happy attitude. He is so good-natured. He loves to laugh and make people laugh. Is there anything better than someone laughing at your jokes/silliness or at least joining in on the fun? I agree!