Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Where'd That Damn Thing Go?

Have you seen it? I must have misplaced mine about 16 years ago. I could really use it right now. 

I've been trying really hard to hold my shit together. But man, separation is hard. Temporary single parenting is hard. Being thousands and thousands of miles from your spouse is hard. Strained communication on top of it all is hard. Trying to suck it up because technically this isn't a deployment is hard.  

I want an easy button! Not standard issue for most military families. Not even sure what that looks like. A nanny? Family visitors? No job? Trip to the spa? Maybe just a good cry. I've been doing plenty of that this time around. Man, I remember when I use to be a powerhouse with these separations...ok can I just call it a deployment?!? No tears. Head down, push push push through months of whatever to get it done. This time I was crying by day 2. New record!

I wish I were a lot of things right now. Mostly just better at handling things without feeling like bursting into tears. 

Does anyone else go through this during deployments or TDYs? The sadness, loneliness and feeling overwhelmed by added responsibilities? Geez I feel like a really good candidate for some meds right now! Oh well might as well be honest, right? Lord knows I need to get this out of my self and get through this mood :/


  1. So sorry you are feeling down! Chin up lady! It's ok to have days like this.
    I wasn't with my husband during all his deployments. I really wish I could have been to be there for him and be strong for him. Actually, I just wish we had that time together too.
    Anyway, sending you a hug!

  2. Ughh I am so sorry. Venting it out though is always good. You are a rockstar, don't forget that. I hope the time goes by faster!

  3. I hear ya! Separation is hard and it sucks. Don't ever forget how awesome you are!

  4. Hey love...I did great the first 2 times with my husband, I did great the first 2 times my brother left. The 3rd time my brother left, I cried and cried. I was like "what the hell woman, you survived 2 combat deployments with Matt...your bro leaving is nothing". There are times that its OK to let it go, and realize you are human, with emotions and feelings and sometimes dammit, you just need a hug. So here is a virtual one! love you my sweet friend!