Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The Nights Are Long


Deployment sucks.

There is just no way around it. I honestly thought after a successful Thanksgiving, the kids and I were golden. There was no stopping us. We had this deployment in the bag.

ERRT! No way! The feeling of mastery is a kiss of death. To feelings of accomplishment at least.

When will I ever learn?!?

My husband finally called us last night. The phone call was overdue. The boys have been asking a lot of questions recently. “When will dad be able to call?” “When can [they] FaceTime with him?” They miss him. After a quick hello, I handed the phone over to Ky. She talked for a few minutes and handed the phone to Zac. He talked for a few minutes and then they were disconnected.

I understand the ways of the boat. Unfortunately, the kids do not. After all three were tucked snuggly in bed, the crying began. First one, then another. I would get one calmed down and the next would start. And then back around again.  Not a thing I could do to console them. *sigh* This is the hardest part. 

I am no stranger to deployment. I have done deployments pregnant, with babies, and with preschoolers. Those days were physically exhausting. I completely empathize with those going through it right now. It is tough. Don’t discredit your situation.

What I didn’t know is deployment doesn’t get easier as your kids get older. Every day I feel I am navigating a mine field of emotion. I am more mentally/emotionally exhausted than previous deployments. What works for one, doesn’t work for the other. One needs a goal oriented check list, the other a current events lesson, and my oldest takes a hug and some jokes. I’m a jack of all trades. Master of none.

This is a tough gig. 


Nicole

8 comments:

  1. Ugh this makes my heart hurt for all of you. I was a wreck when Daniel was deployed but only had to worry about my own emotional needs. Taking care of your children's too sounds exhausting. They are so lucky to have a mom like you. I hope this deployment of over soon for all of you.

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  2. :( Hugs to you and your sweet kids!

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  3. I can only imagine having to do that with kids... I only had myself to worry about ! Sounds like you're a veteran and a trooper though, sending good thoughts your way! Stay strong, you're doing awesome!

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  4. I am sending hugs and prayers your way. You sound so strong and so human... being a mom is a tough gig on its own. From what I've read, it sounds like you are doing an amazing job and your family is so lucky to have you leading the way.

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  5. This IS a togh gig. Hang in there. You are getting through.

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  6. Stay strong, like it seems you have so far. :D You can do it! Keep those kids focused on his return, even though its easier sad than done.

    From one of your newest followers...

    Lacey @ lagjeg2003.blogspot.com

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  7. thank you so much for what you, your husband, and your children sacrifice for this country. thank you for sharing the realness of it with us.

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  8. First, I want to say, "Thank you" for the sacrifice your family is making for our country. I doubt you hear that enough.

    I can only imagine how hard it is. My husband travels for his job during the week and because of pay cuts we lost our house and have had to move 4 times in 3 years. My kids suffer a lot from the not knowing. I can only imagine how hard it is on your family. I know as a mom and wife, playing single mom although you are married is also very difficult. I pray God's strength for you. Safety for your Husband.

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