Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The Nights Are Long

Deployment sucks.

There is just no way around it. I honestly thought after a successful Thanksgiving, the kids and I were golden. There was no stopping us. We had this deployment in the bag.

ERRT! No way! The feeling of mastery is a kiss of death. To feelings of accomplishment at least.

When will I ever learn?!?

My husband finally called us last night. The phone call was overdue. The boys have been asking a lot of questions recently. “When will dad be able to call?” “When can [they] FaceTime with him?” They miss him. After a quick hello, I handed the phone over to Ky. She talked for a few minutes and handed the phone to Zac. He talked for a few minutes and then they were disconnected.

I understand the ways of the boat. Unfortunately, the kids do not. After all three were tucked snuggly in bed, the crying began. First one, then another. I would get one calmed down and the next would start. And then back around again.  Not a thing I could do to console them. *sigh* This is the hardest part. 

I am no stranger to deployment. I have done deployments pregnant, with babies, and with preschoolers. Those days were physically exhausting. I completely empathize with those going through it right now. It is tough. Don’t discredit your situation.

What I didn’t know is deployment doesn’t get easier as your kids get older. Every day I feel I am navigating a mine field of emotion. I am more mentally/emotionally exhausted than previous deployments. What works for one, doesn’t work for the other. One needs a goal oriented check list, the other a current events lesson, and my oldest takes a hug and some jokes. I’m a jack of all trades. Master of none.

This is a tough gig. 



  1. Ugh this makes my heart hurt for all of you. I was a wreck when Daniel was deployed but only had to worry about my own emotional needs. Taking care of your children's too sounds exhausting. They are so lucky to have a mom like you. I hope this deployment of over soon for all of you.

  2. :( Hugs to you and your sweet kids!

  3. I can only imagine having to do that with kids... I only had myself to worry about ! Sounds like you're a veteran and a trooper though, sending good thoughts your way! Stay strong, you're doing awesome!

  4. I am sending hugs and prayers your way. You sound so strong and so human... being a mom is a tough gig on its own. From what I've read, it sounds like you are doing an amazing job and your family is so lucky to have you leading the way.

  5. This IS a togh gig. Hang in there. You are getting through.

  6. Stay strong, like it seems you have so far. :D You can do it! Keep those kids focused on his return, even though its easier sad than done.

    From one of your newest followers...

    Lacey @ lagjeg2003.blogspot.com

  7. thank you so much for what you, your husband, and your children sacrifice for this country. thank you for sharing the realness of it with us.

  8. First, I want to say, "Thank you" for the sacrifice your family is making for our country. I doubt you hear that enough.

    I can only imagine how hard it is. My husband travels for his job during the week and because of pay cuts we lost our house and have had to move 4 times in 3 years. My kids suffer a lot from the not knowing. I can only imagine how hard it is on your family. I know as a mom and wife, playing single mom although you are married is also very difficult. I pray God's strength for you. Safety for your Husband.