Monday, July 25, 2016

Twas The Night Before The Big Day

And all through the house, not a creature was stirring...except for the military spouse :) Yep, you knew I was going to do it! This is what happens when you have nothing but time on your hands and no adults to talk to in the house. You start modifying children's rhymes to fit your military lifestyle. It happens. Less than 24 hours before we said 'see you later', I was just a mess. All I could do was lay in bed and toss and turn. Thinking about how the hell I'm going to manage this again as the spouse. I just started writing...

Old picture but same situation

It's so strange to me the number of times we have been through the deployment cycle and specifically the pre-deployment stage, this pre-deployment has been unlike any other. I think we are on #5 and this is my most emotional. In a sense, I am happy because the feelings are being released. On the other hand, I'm a crazy basket case most days. I think back on so many pre-deployment days and I know my coping style has been avoidance. I hold onto this unrealistic hope that deployment will be cancelled. For the record, deployment has NEVER been cancelled. Another stark contrast is the current waterworks. Typically crying  doesn't happen until week 3 for me. No tears at the drop off...ever. This time I've pretty much been crying since May.

Bright and early we are going to get this party started. Everybody will load up in the van with their pjs, blankets, and pillows. Get in one last kiss, hug, and "see you later" before things change for awhile. I'm ready to start this countdown. I've been more ready this time than any other. Every time I look at him I'm just reminded that he won't be here for a lot of stuff. And that makes me sad. So, I'd really like to stop being reminded. And start looking forward to the happy stuff. I guess I'm "finally" getting my wish. 

Well, surprise, famous last words and all the cliches. He was delayed. He got the call bright and early the morning of to say...Delayed. So we got to do it all over again the following night. But now everything has worked itself out and everyone is safely where they are suppose to be and we are T minus one on our countdown. Yay us! It is what it is. I have found my perfect little spot in deployment stage one where everyone annoys me and I don't want to see or talk to happy well adjusted people :) I'm just going to bunker down and wait it out for stage 2 where I turn into a bad ass and rock life! 

I'll be sure to let you know when I'm there but you will probably start to figure it out on Instagram :)


  1. You are a rockstar!! Sending lots of love your way!

  2. Love you, Nicole! It never get easier, but you get stronger! So proud of you! xo

  3. Oh I know how that feels! My partner's last deployment got pushed back three times, so we did the "last night" three times. On the bright side it meant I was all cried out and didn't shed a tear at the airport. I hope you get through the everyone-leave-me-alone stage (I know I personally get irrationally angry at the poor people just trying to ask how I'm doing) and arrive at the getting-shit-done stage soon x

    Jessi |

  4. I've been thinking of you guys!!! Hang in there. <3