If It's Not Your Train

This quote has become my mantra this week. I keep reminding myself over and over again throughout the day. I subtle reminder as I wait to hear about a position I interviewed for this past week. The job is serving military families which is always my focus. Always. I would empty trash barrels on a military base if it meant serving military families. Ok... not necessarily true but serving the military community is my passion. I believe in what military members are doing and the families who stand behind them. I want to use my experience and education to make their lives better. When I interact with a military spouse, child, or military member, I want them to feel like they are being treated with the upmost respect and service. I understand the stressors of military life. I live them. But I am finally in a position where I've gained enough experience and knowledge to be helpful to others.

Can you tell I want this job?

As I wait to hear back, I have to remind myself what is suppose to happen will happen. And because I believe in a God who arranges all things in my life, I should be really good at letting things go and accepting what happens.  

But I'm not. 

I want what I want. Not feeling like I have control over something is uncomfortable for me. Very uncomfortable. And job searching is one of those things I have no control over. I write all my information down on paper and put it out there for all to judge. When I finally get the interview, I put even more of me out there and then I wait. It's not a fun process. In fact, I pretty much hate it. It is even more annoying when I really want the job and I know I would be great at the position.

Please pick me ...puh-lease. 

And I'm back to square one. The truth is I do know things are going to fall into the exact place they are suppose to. I do know it. However, when you are on the front side of all those pieces falling into place, it's not nearly as easy as being on the back side. So, I go back to reminding myself...

If this train doesn't stop, then it wasn't mine. 

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