Believe In or Settle For

I'm a list person. That's just who I am. Come into my house on any given day, ask me to see all the lists I currently have, and I can show you at least 5. Lists make me feel organized. They make me feel focused and accomplished when I cross even one thing off. Doesn't matter if that one thing was get the mail out of the mailbox!

You better believe I buy into bucket lists, life or seasonal. A certain number before a certain age lists. And most recently, a 101 Things in 1001 Days. I've been working on the latter since the new 2015 year. To keep on track with the '101 Things' list, you need to complete a task approximately every 10 days. Seven months into the list, I should have 21 things accomplished. I have 15. While it's not on schedule, I still feel good about the progress. Some of my list is a process, like send birthday cards to every person in my family throughout an entire year. That takes a while to complete. While others are things I can choose to complete in one day, like 'Say yes for a whole day'. Believe me everyone wants to be around for that day!

All of my list is meant to push me towards bettering myself, enjoying my life, and accomplishing some goals. One of my 101 Things includes answering all 50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind. I felt the questions would push me to open up to others. Which is kind of cheating because my blog does provide a bit of anonymity, but it's a start!

Currently on #7: Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

I do believe in what I am doing right now. Personally, I have committed to being fully present for my family. I have struggled with my desire to spread myself a little thinner with activities, more schooling, or committing time to a cause placed on my heart.  But my kids and husband won out because of my personal choice. I'm not feeling the pressure of time right now. I feel everything has a season and this particular season is about my family. I trust there will be time for the other things later. I can honestly say this is a new feeling :)

Professionally, I'm on the fence about whether I'm settling or believing in my work. On one hand, I feel like I believe in my work. The field of school age care is developing. I like being a part of a field with so much potential growth. I like creating and implementing a quality program for my (work) kids. I like that my job supports families who work and provides them with a sense of comfort regarding their children. Those things make me happy. I also believe in my role as a leader. Not that I do a phenomenal job at leading :) but that I have learned more about myself in this role than any other aspect of my life. I have been knocked down repeatedly. I've cried lots and lots and lots of tears. I've been boiling mad for days. I've contemplated quitting without notice and finding a retail job with a really great discount for the rest of my life! But I have always picked myself back up. And after I do, I'm better for it. A little meaner… but better.

When I feel I'm settling, it is because I believe there is bigger work out there. A demographic really in need of help. Parents who work but can't afford quality care. Kids who are begging for someone to encourage, support, and work off the clock for them. My heart is ready for that kind of purpose. I just don't think the season is right.